Sunday, November 22, 2009

Back Up The Truck of Free Programming, Bitches!


I just knew that if it dragged on long enough, the stupid pissing match between the Versus Network and DirecTV was going to burn my ass.

Consider it charred.

The only game I wanted to watch on Saturday night, was - you guessed it! - Stanford vs. Cal on Versus.

Bastards!

So I called those clowns at DirecTV and asked them to ….

a. Count my number of HD DVR receivers (“oh, I have eight, do I? Well, that sure is a lot… isn’t it?”)
b. remind me how long I’ve been a DirecTV customer (“hmm. Since you began service in 1994? Un-interrupted? Wow, that’s pretty loyal, isn’t it?”)
c. Start throwin’ some free shit my way…

Predictably, the front line woman was of little use. She offered the Center Ice package for HALF PRICE plus $10 bucks off a month for 6 months.

Child, please.

So I was sent off to the “customer retention” department, where I made much better headway.

I got the Center Ice package thrown in gratis (Yea! Thrashers and Blue Jackets on a Tuesday night! Just what I wanted for Christmas!) which doesn’t really address the fact that the Caps will be on Versus A LOT this year.

I also got $20 off a month for 6 months.

I probably could have driven a harder bargain, but I only feel comfortable being a total prick on the radio. Yeah, I know. Hard to believe.

This has been repeated by many, and I am more than happy to publicize the fact that you can bang the monkeys at DirecTV for discounts and free packages if you threaten to leave.

Hell, you don’t even need a reason. Just call up, say you are out of work, and need to cancel service unless they can make it more affordable.

So what if it’s a total lie? Is this unethical? Hell no. It’s capitalism! They know damn well just how much each customer is worth, the cost off gaining new ones, the threat from other TV services.

Nobody is putting a gun to their heads on this.

Well, you are. Sorta.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Freak Show


If you haven't seen fast rising Heisman hopeful Toby Gerhart, you should take a moment to savor his act.

The dude IS John Riggins, 2.0.

At 6-1, 235, he's a true old-school throwback when it comes to big time D1 tailbacks. You rarely see guys that tall, and that big, running for so many yards.

And he's white!

It is certainly politically incorrect to bring this up, but you would be insane to ignore it. There hasn't been a white tailback of significance like this, since Craig James of and the Pony Express.

Not that it matters, but it is notable. After all, white players are able to play athletic skill positions like wide receiver all day.

Tailback and cornerback? Not so much.

This has always confounded me. Why can white wideouts have sufficient explosion and speed to play that position, but not enough to play tailback?

Are they discouraged from playing the position early on in the youth-prep-college progression? Or is there something missing? I really don't know.

I do know this: Gerhart is the real deal. He once set the CALIFORNIA prep record for rushing yards in a career with nearly 10,000!

So relish the freak, while you can, and let's just see if he can become Riggins 2.0 in the pros.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Jimmy Masterlock Week 11

LAST WEEK: 2-2

Jacksonville -8.5 vs. Buffalo
New England -10 vs. NY Jets
Baltimore -1 vs. Indianapolis

BARKING DOG: Oakland +9.5 vs. Cincinnati

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bill's "Get In The Trunk" Moment of Decision


The Bill Belichick 4th down call has been like a slain woolly mammoth for us in sports talk radio. It's a beast that will feed the tribe for months.

What is funny, however, is the level of utter VITRIOL some people have on the subject.

For the record, I think it was a decent percentage-play call by Bill. Not a no-brainer. And certainly not "idiotic."

I liken it to getting into the trunk of a mafia sedan. When the burly goombah's in the black suits say "get in the trunk" you are in deep trouble.

Belichick felt that Peyton Manning from 70 yards with 2 minutes and a timeout, was his own "get in the trunk" moment. He had to make a move. He tried to wheel-kick fat Tony with the gun, just missed, and got shot in the back.

Still might have been his best chance.

If you want some mildly confusing math (it's all confusing to me) you can read this entry from Sports By Brooks.

Those that disagree however, fall into a class of folks I like to call the "Righteous Punters."

These fans don't just think it was a bad strategic call, they are CERTAIN that Belichick is an arrogant IDIOT for attempting it.

Folks, punting isn't the answer to all of life's problems.

THE YELLOW ZONE

I would like to coin a term for the plus-45 to plus-35 yard line. "The Yellow Zone." Unlike the "Red Zone" this is to describe the cowardly zone where NFL coaches routinely punt the ball away, instead of going for 4th down conversion. If I was making a laminated chart, it would read like this: Any 4th and 5 or less in the "Yellow Zone" you go for it. Period. Punting for what usually ends up being a paltry 25 yards of field position, isn't worth shying away from 4th and 5 or less.

As if anybody needed one more reason to fire Eric Mangini, this past Monday night provided it. Gregg Easterbrook of Page 2's "Tuesday Morning Quarterback" pulls the pants down on cowardly coaching decisions.

On Monday night, trailing 16-0 on the game's final snap, Cleveland attempted a ridiculous Stanford Band play (which should now be called a Trinity of Texas play), for no apparent purpose other than to keep "we got shut out on 'Monday Night Football'" from being on the agenda at Eric Mangini's year-end performance review. In an extreme display of poor sportsmanship, Mangini called all his timeouts in the final moments, when Baltimore led by 16 and was not trying to score but just trying to exhaust the clock. The motive was protecting Mangini's résumé, and the result of the ridiculous final play was a concussion for the Browns' Josh Cribbs. Exposing players to injury on a meaningless final down, just to improve your own employment prospects, is a serious coaching offense -- the football world should be mad at Mangini, not Belichick.


REACT: Easterbrook also slammed Wade Phillips for pushing so hard for the late TD against Green Bay while there was clearly, no chance at all for a 17 point rally in the final 2 minutes. It was a classic: "I don't want the word 'shutout' on my year end review" kind of move. Again, not like you need THIS to justify canning Wade Phillips at the end of the year.

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT... "MESSAGING"

I love how politicians never think that they are doing something the public is enraged about, they only think that they need to do a better job of lying about what they are doing which is making the public outraged.

Pat Waak, the chairwoman of the Colorado Democratic Party, said the party had so far failed to convince independent voters of the steps it had taken to improve the economy.

“I think the economy is at the base of the tension,” she said. “Quite frankly, we’ve got to do a better job of messaging. There’s a lot of work to be done to get independents more comfortable with what we’re doing.”

“Listen, it hasn’t been an easy time,” said T.J. Rooney, a former state legislator and the chairman of the Pennsylvania Democratic Party. “It’s almost like we’re a victim of our own success. When you’re governing, that changes the political dynamic.”

Andrew Myers, who polled for Democrats in Virginia House of Delegates races this year, said his analysis of exit polls indicated that voters had come to see Democrats as a party of high spending — too willing to make a rush for the pocketbooks and unable to effectively articulate how their health care reform push benefited independents, many of whom already have insurance plans.

“This is what’s particularly heartbreaking: There is a real sense that no one in Congress is standing up for them,” said Myers. “It’s a real problem for messaging for us.”


Translation: You, the public are stupid. We plan to step up our efforts to lie to you. Stay tuned. God, I cannot WAIT until next November.