No Piece of Ass Is Worth It. Not Even Her.

If I never hear that voicemail again, it will still have been at least one too many times.

"Hey. It's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor..."

Cringe. My stomach starts to flip all over again.

I liked Tiger Woods where I had left him: up in the sporting firmament. Amidst the athletic Gods. As a guy who was a cut above, and a step ahead, in every regard.

Yeah, it was naive. I know that. But that's where I wanted him.

No more.

I wanted dearly to believe the "Ward-Cleaver-With-A-280-Yard-Stinger-2-Iron" myth. Now, he's like any 6th man on an NBA bench.

Thud. Down he comes.

You can rail all you want against the excesses of tabloid journalism.

Okay. Fine. Done, now?

The fact remains: the National Enquirer didn't send the bimbos to his hotel room. TMZ didn't make him send 300-plus text messages to a 21 year old cocktail waitress.

His bed. Lie in it.

Sadly, this Woods bombshell is the spectacular finale to what I am dubbing "The Year of the Cad."

Tiger.
Pitino.
Letterman.
Gov. Mark Sanford.
Jon Gosselin.
Steve Phillips.
Big Ben.
Steve McNair.
Arturo Gatti.
Jim Nantz.
Shawne Merriman.
The creep who taped Erin Andrews.

Cads. All of them. Sadly, several paid the ultimate price for it. And nobody thinks infidelity should be a death sentence. But it's been a bad year all around.

I hate to pile on with the "I told you so" but I must in this regard. I said loudly: "Don't do it, Tiger."

People killed me. They said: "My God, look at that Swedish hottie! You're nuts, Czabe."

No, I said. I'm a realist. As Chris Rock once said: "You are only as faithful as your options."

And when you are a star athlete like him, the options are limitless. The buffet of women is open 24/7/365. And you need an A.C. Green or Doug Christie level of purity to resist it.

I said Tiger had plenty of time to get married in his 40's. If he wanted. But there was no obligation. I knew that his fame and money would put these women in his orbit. I knew that he was a golf dork at heart. Not a playboy.

Something was bound to give. But why did it have to be this embarrassing?

Have A Little Faith

Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints were at the epicenter of the NFL universe on Monday night. And oh, what a night.

Anybody who watched that game, watched Brees carve up the Patriots defense, watched how energized the building was, had to feel pretty good about how far the franchise has come from the post Katrina days.

There was doubt about whether the Saints could survive. There was doubt about whether it was fiscally prudent to fix the Superdome. There was doubt about who would willingly come to New Orleans as a free agent.

All it took, was a little faith.

Why did Brees come to a city still flattened by a hurricane, instead of a warm weather city like Miami with a “glamour” coach like Nick Saban?

"Obviously there are great coaches on both teams, but I just felt that energy in New Orleans," Brees said back then. "From the very beginning there was a genuine feeling that they wanted me there. They believe I can come back from this shoulder injury and lead them to a championship. They were as confident as I am, and that meant a lot."

His agent echoed the sentiment. Faith.

"Drew was sufficiently impressed with the organization and the head coach in New Orleans," said Brees' agent, Tom Condon, referring to new Saints coach Sean Payton. "New Orleans was also very comfortable with the risk-reward, based on his rehabilitation from the injury, and Miami didn't have that same level of comfort, so New Orleans made a lot of sense for us."

Faith in sports, is difficult to have. Fans who have too much of it, are branded as fools. But that’s what faith requires. Belief in something you cannot see.
Anybody can believe in the sun coming up in the East. To believe that a franchise can rebound so spectacularly is much harder. But there it was, in full HD glory on MNF.

The city of New Orleans has miles and miles to go, before it is ever what it once was. That day may never come. But it is clear that the entire region lives for that team. The pictures of oil rig workers with their Saints jerseys were perfect.

The Hornets. Eh. You can have ‘em. This is a Saints town, and a Saints state. Period.

“In other N.F.L. cities, it’s different,” said Steve Gleason, a Saints defensive back. “The players and the fans feel totally separate. Here, it’s more like a college. There is a real emotional connection. But if you’re not poised, that emotion can overcome you.”

Even Payton said that the Saints' poor showing in 2005 did not deter him from seeking the job.

"It's hard to look at their talent now compared to their record with all of the circumstances and things that they've gone through," Payton said at the time. "It's a team that's certainly shown that they can be competitive and I would look forward to that challenge."

I am a Redskin fan, whose faith has been tested mightily. But I will try to have some. Faith that someday Dan Snyder will figure out this ownership thing, and back the hell up and hire really good people to do their thing.

Stay Medium

This, is "Zornface."

The utterly fake, just here taking a paycheck, hmm-that-seems-interesting-but-I-don't-really-care, expression.

Jim's got it nailed.

One texter to my Fox Sports Radio show said simply: "Czabe, I did what you told me, and watched Zorn on the sidelines. My god. Walking around aimlessly, nothing to do, jotting down random notes. Like a dad at his son's game, looking for garbage to pick up."

Do I blame him? Nah. Go for it, Jimmy. You got the job by accident, there's no reason to drop the lottery ticket now. Make Vinny and Danny cash you out in full.

In the meantime, let's not get nuts and win too many more games, okay? There's currently 4 teams with 2 wins or less, and the Raiders and Chiefs are tied with us for 3 wins.

Winning just 4 games and yet still picking 7th would really suck. Just sayin.

As for the game on Sunday, well, what can you really take from it? Another road loss, now 9 in a row, tied for a franchise record. They have still yet to score 30 points in a game under Zorn. More injuries. More confusion about who really calls the plays.

Oh, the fun.

As I have said to other football friends: "If your football season is a train to nowhere, at least you want to be on the express."

>>>>>>>>>>>

Announcer Notes

I don't write this to take a shot at anybody, but I cannot let it pass without comment. In general, the tandem of Kenny Albert and Moose Johnston (with Tony Siragusa holding up the goalpoasts chipping in...) is well regarded by many critics.

From my couch, eh. You can have 'em. Part of the problem, is that I actually LISTEN to what they say, and wonder: "Are they talking about the same team, I am watching?"

For example, at one point, Johnston points out that the Redskins have rolled out 6 different line combinations this year. True. Good stat. Shows the injury turmoil that has crippled this team.

But then, Moose unloads this whopper: He opines that maybe NOW, they have found the continuity they need up front, and that they were playing "well" so far in the game!

Are you kidding?

The o-line the Redskins rolled out there was nothing short of a nightmare. At one point it was....

LT - Levi Jones (cut by the Bengals last season)
LG - Derrick Dockery (overpaid, and cut last season from Buffalo)
C - Casey Rabach (declining free agent, prone to holding now)
RG - Edwin Williams (undrafted free agent C playing out of position)
RT - Stephen Heyer (undrafted free agent who is a finesse player)

No, noooooo! There is no "continuity" here. It's a disaster. And how can you say they are playing "well" when the line had committed FOUR false starts in the game to that point.

These are the kind of professional "observations" that make many fans crazy. I know that Moose Johnston doesn't live here in DC and he doesn't live in Philly. And as such, he can't be quite as tuned in to each team, every week, as perhaps us locals are.

However, given that its his only job to be prepared, and he has a full week to do, and he can read tons of stuff on-line, and he can call people "in the league" to find out more, then this stuff is simply inexcusable.

Plus, how can any reasoned analysis of a game where an o-line jumps 4 times, and nearly gets the QB killed, include a "good" assessment from professional "analysts."