The Stubbornly Un-sympathetic "Stosh"

Philosophical question: “When is it acceptable to ‘whine’ in sports?”

In general, I think you are not allowed to whine about: the weather, the referees, the schedule, the fans, or the announcers.

But an injury, if significant enough, you bet.

So I am watching the game last night at Buffalo Wild Wings in Urbana, MD with some of my boyees: Rhodesie (aka “The Greaser”), J.P. and another friend of theirs who goes simply by “Stosh.”

Stosh was hilarious. Claims to be a huge Ravens fan, but is also a Redskins fan. Claims he was once a Patriots fan (when Steve Grogan played) but isn’t a fan now. Guy works for the Baltimore Orioles, but is a big hockey player.

Oh, and he’s a huge Ocho Cinco fan. Massive.

Stosh’s proudest Christmas gift, which he was wearing, was a t-shirt ordered from Ocho Cinco’s own website that said “Child Pleeeze…” on the front in orange, with “Ocho Cinco 85” on the back.

Stosh claims he’s “great for the game of football.”

Stosh is white.

I feel compelled to say that, because he smashes every preconceived stereotype of a fan you would ever expect.

So anyway, with Texas getting drilled 24-6 in the second half, with their true freshman back-up to Colt McCoy struggling to even get a ball airborne, Stosh says:

“Now, I don’t wanna hear Texas fans whining about losing their quarterback after this game….”

To quote Jimmy Football in the Bud Light commercials: “Whhhaaaaahhhhaaaaa???”

I said: “Stosh, the dude was their All-American stud. He’s won more games than any QB in Texas history. They were looking really strong before he went out. What the hell are you saying? Of course Texas fans can whine. That changed the entire game!”

Stosh, undeterred simply said: “That’s why you need depth on your team.”

“Depth!” I said. “How many All-American quarterbacks do they need to carry at one time? Three? Some guys are just irreplaceable.”

Stosh wasn’t giving it up. He says they should have let this kid play more in blowouts to get him ready.

“Stosh, I don’t know if you are aware of this, but this is THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP game! Alabama is ridiculously good! The kid was playing HIGH SCHOOL football about 10 months ago! I’m amazed he hasn’t pooped himself yet.”

Well, it was a good natured exchange, and I didn’t really change Stosh’s mind. Maybe he’s correct on some level. I just didn’t see it. While Texas fans can’t honestly claim they would have surely won that game with McCoy, they can at least enjoy a little “woe is me” about it.

That’s when about 5 minutes later I said: “Hey Stosh, what did you say about Pearl Harbor? ‘I don’t want to hear the US Navy whining about losing all their battleships and stuff. They should have had another Pearl Harbor somewhere nearby, like on Maui.”

Much laughter amongst the fellas. ‘Tis why it’s great to get out of the house, and enjoy some free flowing “manversation” – as I like to call it – every now and then.

“Spoken like a Ravens fan,” I said, “whose only Super Bowl is due entirely to the fact that Tony Siragusa FELL on Rich Gannon’s shoulder on the 3rd play of the game.”

The trash talking resumed. The true freshman almost pulled off a miracle, although it was sadly only AFTER Stosh had headed for the snowy roads home.

All hail Alabama, and that joyless prick Nick Saban. With our without McCoy, they are deserving Champs, and the program looks like a juggernaut running at full power.

Woe to the rest of the SEC and, of course, Auburn fans.

The Tide, oh, it is rollin’!

Agent Less-Than-Zero

While everybody and their mother is busy killing Gilbert Arenas, allow me to focus on the real issue.

David Stern.

The AWOL Commissioner continues to prove (to me, at least) that he has become the do-nothing, see-nothing, useless hood ornament of a league that continues its PR death spiral.

Stern hit him with an “indefinite” suspension, that “will ultimately result in a substantial suspension, perhaps worse.”

Ooohhhhhh. Shaking.

Why did Stern suspend Arenas? Not for bringing guns into an NBA arena/lockeroom and “jokingly” urging his pissed off team-mate to “pick one” to use to shoot him.

Nah.

Stern suspended Arenas for clowning.

“His ongoing conduct has led me to conclude that he is not fit to take the court in an NBA game” said the commish in a statement.

Really?

The court might be the only place he’d be “fit” to appear right now. At least you can’t hide a gun in your game shorts. (I think.)

Dan Steinberg of the DC Sports Bog, has a detailed chronology of how many times, and how many ways, Arenas seemed to be taunting the league’s inaction on this issue.

Stern tried to claim he was protecting the legal process by urging restraint on the league’s part, and the Wizards. This is idiocy. Sitting Arenas down – even as a “healthy scratch” – while still paid, and still on the roster, was the easy MINIMUM the team should have done.

It would not have impeded any legal proceedings. It would not have violated the NBA’s collective bargaining agreement. It would not have been any rush to judgment because Arenas had already admitted to the embarrassing (and yes, criminal) act!

Stern’s duties as commissioner are multi-fold. But certainly one of the most important, is to be the guardian of the league’s image.

FAIL.

If Gilbert isn’t suited up and playing, then he can’t become the new poster-boy for spoiled, idiotic, overpaid, criminal NBA athletes. That photo would have never happened.

That photo, now out there FOREVER, in the bloodstream of the world wide web and beyond, happened because David Stern was asleep at the switch.

Again.

Funny, because Getty Images which took the photo, is merely a distributor of the image. The NBA still owns the liscense. At about 3 p.m. yesterday, as ESPN.com and other outlets were picking up on it, the NBA directed Getty to remove the photo from their archives.

Good job, boys. Little late, don’t you think?

Somebody (probably not Stern) soon realized the league SUPPRESSION of a photo like this, would then become a major story, called Getty back and asked them to please restore access to the photo.

It was the first smart thing the NBA has done. Let’s see if it is the last.

Now That's What I Call "Internet Famous!"

You can file this one under: "That's nice, but it won't exactly pay my bills!"

On Monday morning, I was at one point the 5th most searched "thing" on a little website you might have heard of, called um... GOOGLE, MOTHERF***ERS!

Now, sadly, it was because my morning sports radio show had been unceremoniously, and shockingly yanked from over 186 terrestrial affiliates and also XM 142 after 7 years of fun and jackassery.

I tried to warn everybody, but being the holidays, I suppose news travels slow.

Now, would I have liked to surpassed "cisco cotto" (WTF!)? Sure. Maybe next time.

When my web guru Kirk told me about this, I was floored. Google? THE Google?

I'm 5th! Whooo hoooo!

Never mind that I was already "famous" for being a (formerly) nationally syndicated radio host, with a popular local radio show in market #8, and a 13 year stint on the most popular morning radio show in Milwaukee, and a very popular website visited by over 45,000 unique visitors daily.

Nah, never mind all that. I take that for granted.

Google. Fucking, google!