Big Dumb

Apparently, athletes are the slowest learners.

If they learn, at all.

How many people would have guessed that shortly after Plaxico Burress landed himself in jail, that another high profile jock would think about fooling around with guns in a place where they are not allowed?

Hello, Gilbert Arenas.

How many people would have guessed that with a sexual assault case still pending in Nevada, Steelers QB Ben Roesthlisberger would decide that there's no harm in going to a nearby college town in Georgia and cruising for some sorority sweater?

Now the QB who loves to hold onto the ball way too long, a guy whose signature move is shrugging off lineman with one arm to heave a last ditch pass, is looking at the biggest sack of his career.

If this current woman's story is credible, and if she can follow through (unlike the Kobe accuser) then Big Ben's career is done. Finished. He's going to jail.

If not, then Ben will play again. But his image will never be the same. And it shouldn't be.

Because Big Ben is a drunk.

This is not even debatable. In addition to photos all over the internet (like the one above) and now these twin "incidents" involving drunken libido gone over-the-edge, it is clear that the guy can't manage his liquor.

Okay, now, go ahead with the argument that "he's only 28, dude, and he's not married! What do you want him to do, stay at home and read a book!?"

Oldest excuse in the internet age. Lamest, too.

If you want to be a club-hopping playboy-athlete in today's camera-phone age, then you better accept the fact that you aren't going to be fit to endorse anything. And you better have a great criminal defense attorney on retainer.

Big Ben may feel young, act young, and wonder "what's all the fuss, I'm just a normal guy" when he goes cruising for fun in Milledgeville, GA. But he's not. He's a two-time Super Bowl winning quarterback. While he is not obligated to act like an arrogant ass when he's in public, he ought to know that he actually IS sports royalty.

And royalty does not do jello shooters with commoners.

It would be another thing entirely if Big Ben were a tight end, or a lineman. Hey, football players, will be football players.

But he's not. He's a quarterback. That's a leadership position. The next time a guy like Santonio Holmes gets busted for smoking weed, what is Big Ben gonna say?

"Come on, man, we're pros."

Or will he say, "Dude, got any to share?"

We'll see how the Steelers handle this. For now, they are sitting back, waiting for the "facts" to come in. But the relevant facts are indeed, already in. Your quarterback is a drunk, with exceptionally poor judgment, who has embarrassed the franchise. This is, further evidence not needed, simply un-acceptable.

A statement to that effect, can and should have been released already.

The legal wheels will turn on their own schedule. But in the meantime, a franchise and fan base that preens on their reputation of class and conservatism in the NFL, should just shut their yaps the next time they decide to get on their soap-box about how they do things "the right way."

Oh, PleasePleasePlease Let Us Be #96!

So if the NCAA tournament goes from 64 teams to 96, is that good or bad?

For Joe Lunardi, I mean.

If you have made your sports niche one in which you start painstakingly predicting the 64 team bracket - IN OCTOBER! - then does having another 32 teams thrown in the mixing bowl make your job more, or less, important.

On the one hand, a 96 team bracket would be far more complex, and it would bring in at least double the bubble teams.

On the other hand, it wouldn't really matter.

Part of Lunardi's appeal, is that teams are desperate to get into the tourney, and thus they cling to his every change in the "Last 4 In" and "First 4 Out" lists.

Using the Sagarin Rankings - if only because you need some kind of "objective" tool to drill down to 96 teams for exploration purposes - I can report that as of Sunday the "First 4 Out" of the 96 team tourney would be (in order) Harvard, Weber State, Iona, and Nebraska.

Oh yeah, Nebraska is 14-17, and 0-10 this year against Top 25 teams.

You can say that a team like Nebraska would never be argued as a bubble team if we really were putting 96 teams into the bracket. You can say that. But you never know. There will almost certainly be a 14-17 team from a good conference that is upside down on conference record by at least 3 or 4 games, but DOES have a single signature win over a ranked team (probably on ESPN, too) which gets serious consideration.

Yes, this argument will happen. If anybody gives a crap enough to actually argue it.

The "Last 4 In" using Sunday's Sagarin's snapshot, would be Louisiana Tech, Missouri State, Providence, and Oklahoma.

Certainly a more handsome looking bunch as a snapshot, but it's not like we can't have a wonderful March Madness without them.

This also means, that swept up on the extra 32 teams will be....

Wofford, Wright State, Northeastern (and Northwestern for the first time ever!), Portland, Marshall and Illinois State.

Whoo hoo. Wow. Yeah, bracket madness. Get those pool sheets turned in by tomorrow folks.

The concept of a 96 team tournament is being pushed by ESPN and most Division 1 coaches. The reason the NCAA hasn't slammed the door in their face, is because they smell money.

I have a feeling this will end badly.

ESPN wants the extra games because they have 7 different platforms which need constant feeding of programming. ESPN doesn't care about ruining the perception, vibe, or enthusiasm of a 64 team NCAA tournament.

Which a 96 team tourney, would do. That's not even debatable.

They just want the games. Look at what ESPN's football appetite for stupid bowl games has done. It has fueled expansion on the BOTTOM end of the bowl schedule, involving more and more irrelevant teams, while the burning desire by fans to just get ONE more bowl game at the top end has been effectively thwarted.

The coaches have pushed for it, because they think (incorrectly) it will lead to added job security. Knowing several NCAA coaches personally, they chafe at fans, media, and school administrators that quickly cite how many years their team has "missed the tourney."

These coaches are correct when they complain that most critics have no real appreciation of how HARD it actually is to get into the Big Dance.

But making that easier, won't reduce the heat on their profession. It'll just move the 3-point line back a few feet, so to speak.

In a 96 team tourney universe, program critics will start citing how many years it has been since their coach has secured one of the coveted "first weekend bye's" as a Top-32 team.

Program critics will start citing how many years it has been since their team actually WON a tourney game.

And god forbid you are a heritage program (say, UConn) that loses to ol' Team 92 like say Wofford.

Unfortunately, the "logic" of an expanded tournament is seemingly driven by the mere fact that it is logistically do-able.

Yes, an extra 32 teams would fit as a sort of giant prelude tourney one weekend earlier in March. Then we would be back to 64 teams, just like before.

Come on, let's do it! We'll be rich!

What a dreadful idea.

I better enjoy the most perfect sporting event on earth with additional gusto this March. I've got a feeling it may be the last chance we get.

This Desk is Not Adam Archuleta!

To appreciate how absurd Free Agency Week 2010 began for my Washington Redskins, all you need to know is this: my owner issued a press release saying he doesn't own any alligator shoes.

As Dave Barry would write: "I am not making this up."

When the NY Post's Page 6 gossip column reported that Dan Snyder had ordered two alligator leather-bound desks at a price of $600,000 from a chi-chi boutique in Manhattan, it spread like wildfire through the sports blogosphere.

Heh, heh. Typical Snyder. Overpays for everything.

Only, it wasn't true. The Redskins sprung into action to debunk the story.

“Dan does not have an office at FedExField," said Dave Donovan, COO of the Redskins. "Second, he has no need for new desks at any of his offices. We are demanding a retraction from The New York Post.”

Then Snyder added the part about his lack of alligator shoes.

The boutique apologized, and fired the employee who leaked the false rumor.

Whew. Glad we got all that squared away!

That makes it like the whole Adam Archuleta fiasco never happened.

Ha ha, yeah, sure. Alligator desks! Like we'd ever do that. Har! Who needs an alligator skin desk? And for $600 grand? Please. We like slow white safeties who really wanted to go to Chicago to play in another scheme, and we like to make them the HIGHEST PAID SAFETY IN NFL HISTORY!

In the big scheme of things, I suppose this story doesn't matter. But then again, the Redskins (or Snyder, or his legal pit bull Donovan) thought it was important enough to crank out a press release and demand a retraction.

A press release!

This is why being a Skins fan under Snyder is so exasperating. He has been such a sucker for overpaying, that now rogue furniture store managers are even using his name to gin up hype.

What that employee should have done, is hint to Snyder that Jerry Jones was interested in those desks for $700,000, and then just sit back and watch the magic happen.

So off we go, into the great un-capped NFL of 2010.

By the time the HTML is dry on this posting, I can pretty much bet that Julius Peppers will be a Redskin. When the Redskins hone in on a free agent, the first reports are RARELY wrong.

And while I was hoping that Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan would bring a more sober, long-term-build approach to the Skins, I am coming to realize that pretty much no coach Snyder hires will be willing to say no to purchasing players.

Especially in an un-capped year.

To which there IS a coherent argument for actually spending like a banshee this spring. I'm not saying I endorse it, but the argument goes something like this.

Yes, you will overpay for players this spring. Yes, there aren't nearly as many unrestricted free agents, so you won't be able to land very many impact guys. Yes, newly minted free agent acquisitions often go soft now that they've been paid.

Yes, yes, yes, I get it.

But look at it the other way. Players are just players. If you can get a better player than the one you have now, without using a draft pick, then so what? Right now, it's just money. And Snyder has plenty of that, alligator desks or no.

Could the post-lockout NFL re-introduce a salary cap that causes havoc for your spending spree this spring? Sure. Could. But nobody knows. And I think the chances are better that even with a new system and cap, any teams that get a little "out of whack" on spending this year, will have provisions that allow for an orderly re-alignment under the cap going forward.

I doubt the Skins would be forced to play with a 29 man roster.

So in that sense, there is an argument to go hog wild, at last. No more salary cap! Free at last, free at last!

Isn't this what we have been waiting for as Skins fans? Snyder, his fueled up Redskins One on the runway, and a cargo hold full of money? Without any more NFL bean counters tisk tisking our purchases?

Sadly, the NFL is much more complicated than that, I believe. And even if you could purchase the SINGLE BEST player at every position, I am not sure your chances of winning the Super Bowl would be better than just 50-50 in a given year.

The best orchestra in the world doesn't have 100 lead violinists. There has to be somebody oompa-loompa-ing away on a tuba too.

As such, hungry young role players, and guys who want to MAKE their name, will remain the league's lifeblood of success. Those guys, unlike alligator desks, you simply can't purchase.