Los Dummies

There's a reason why we don't elect basketball teams to set public policy.

The Phoenix Suns are a good reminder.

No matter what you think of the new illegal immigration law in Arizona, it's fair to say that just putting a “Los” in front of your team name is not going to lead to solutions.

The problems Arizona face right now with their hopelessly porous southern border, are myriad.

And real.

The Suns stance – and they insist it is not a stance, per se, just a recognition of the proud latino community – is not a serious one. They offer no amendments to the law they purport to oppose. They offer no alternate solution.

They don't even give lip service to the seriousness or complexity of the problem.

To just put a “Los” out there, does nothing. Not for a civic/law enforcement/constitutional issue like this. It is the equivalent of reducing the entirety of United States foreign policy to a t-shirt that says “Make Love, Not War.”

I don't have a particular stance on this law, because I have not read it in its entirety. I don't care to. I don't live in Arizona.

Yet, these facts haven't stopped the usual chorus of sportswriters who live far, far, away, to write the utterly predictable. Few of them have read the whole bill. Few of them have interviewed local lawmakers to get a perspective on what is in the bill, and how it will be implemented.

And I haven't read one sportswriter who thinks the bill is sensible and fair.

Hmmm. Isn't that interesting?

I find it also rather amazing that not a single Suns player or executive felt comfortable enough with the tolerance of diversity of opinion these days, to come out and say respectfully: “You know, I think the organization is wrong here. I'm disappointed we're doing this.”

Shocked.

Well then, I guess it's just that simple. The Phoenix Suns are wise, enlightened, and sensibly color blind. And the democratically elected legislature of Arizona, and the democratically elected governor are complete idiots, morally bankrupt, and probably racist.

Nah. Strike probably. Those racists!

Is it “appropriate” for the Suns to go “Los” on this issue, or other leagues like MLB to pull the All-Star Game next year? Should sports and politics mix like this?

No. Of course it's not appropriate.

Not because the Suns are not “entitled” to make such a choice. They can do whatever they like with their name and jerseys. It's not appropriate because their actions add nothing to the public discourse on the issue. The Suns were not there when the bill was being formulated. They won't be there after it's put into action. And they have no capacity or desire to write public policy.

So they should do themselves a favor, and shut the hell up and play basketball.

If Steve Nash still thinks the law is crap, he's welcome to say: “I hate this law, think it's wrong, and if it's not changed before next season, I'm demanding a trade.”

As a Canadian, it must be nice to have a super rich, peaceful, common language speaking neighbor to the south. One that doesn't invade their country illegally by the millions through Moose Jaw and Thunder Bay. One that doesn't shoot the crime rate through the roof in Medicine Hat, or flood the schools with non-english speaking immigrants in Saskatoon.

How about this, Steve. We'll trade you Arizona and New Mexico for British Columbia and Alberta. Then you can figure it out.

And if MLB or the NFL decides to jump in on this issue – which I doubt, because of the logistics involved in yanking an All-Star Game or Super Bowl – then they will officially be in the business of passing judgment on state lawmaking of all kinds.

To which their sensitivity and “doing good” shall have no end.

Kimbo and Tiger

My favorite Ultimate Fighter, is likely finished.

Kimbo Slice, some of us, still love you.

My more seasoned UFC friends like Solly and Galdi often chided me for being such a sucker. Slice is crap, they kept telling me. Great on YouTube, garbage against actual skilled fighters.

I didn't care. "Kimbo Slice is the baddest fighter on the planet" I would repeat like a 10 year old child. When challenged, I would say: "Dude, look at those eyes! Check out that gold fist hanging from his neck!"

Slice flopped badly in a loss on UFC's Saturday PPV, good ol' "Fleece The Public 113" or whatever they call it.

Dana White, the big bad bossman of UFC said afterward that, that, was essentially that.

I'll never forget a scintillating Saturday Night promotion of EliteXC, where Kimbo went mainstream on CBS. Good times, good fun.

Good luck Kimbo. We'll always have YouTube.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The Tiger Comeback just got more complicated.

Having withdrawn from the Players on Sunday with a neck injury (reported), his playing schedule going forward is even more uncertain. He's going to speak on Monday at a presser for the AT&T National, which has decamped to Aronomink in Philly for the next two years while Congressional here in DC recovers from major greens surgery and gets ready for the 2011 US Open.

So we'll see what he says then.

But believing what he says about this injury, is sorta like believing the stories all his mistresses are selling to the tabloids right now.

In other words, there's some truth in there, somewhere. You just got to rummage around for it.

Tiger dropped a shocker on the golf press at his Masters interview session when he claimed he played part of last year on a "partially torn" achilles.

Yet, he never once mentioned that.

Hmmm. Really. Partially torn? Achilles? Really?

On the one hand, an injury to Tiger makes sense. His driving distance is way down (a shocking 70th in the field at TPC) and he's all over the map.

On the other hand, Tiger said this injury first appeared BEFORE the Masters. And we all know after 3 rounds at Augusta, nobody was saying, "yeah, Tiger's right there, but I wonder if he's hurt?"

If you want the conspiracy theory angle on it, it's simple. Tiger is sick of being just another tour player, not dominant, and being watched for every f-bomb he utters (he let loose with 3 of them on the 18th hole on Thursday). He's going through a divorce, and the best way to deal with it, is to claim injury and basically flush the season. That way, he also gets to avoid the Ryder Cup for a second straight time, and thus also avoid potential Euro-Tabloid hounding and drunken hecklers.

Or, his neck really is hurt. And he'll be back playing more golf - probably average - later this summer.

We shall see.

The Sushi of Sports

I have been watching a metric ton of Stanley Cup playoffs this spring, and not just my now dismissed Washington Capitals. As such, I have pondered what has kept hockey at such a miserably low TV rating for pretty much, well, forever.

For starters, it is a sport that I would venture 90% of the sports watching men in America have never, ever, ever played. Not just on ice, but even street hockey.

This is the biggest, primary barrier to the sport.

There are other reasons - lack of stats, preponderance of European/Canadian players, difficulty in seeing the puck, lack of basic strategic understanding. I could go on and on with those forever.

But cutting to the heart of it, I think, is the fact that most of hockey is frustration and failure. There is very little scoring compared to other American sports (although, more than soccer), and most plays are foiled at some point well before resulting in even a shot on goal.

Which 90% of the time, statistically speaking, turn into saves. Which is a success for the goalie, but ultimately a failure for the offensive team.

Hockey to the un-initiated, is lots and lots of hacking, whacking, checking and grabbing.

Yet to me, and others who love the sport, or played it at any level (me, C League adult ice hockey at midnight with other middle aged dudes) the game remains electric, flowing, and filled with constant tension.

In this way, I think hockey is the sushi of sports. If you like it, you LOVE it. If you don't, you'll never eat it. Period. It's gross. All or nothing.

I said this on my radio show on Tuesday, and got many thoughtful responses. This was one.

Czabe,

I'm with you, hockey is exactly like sushi. I think the "lots of failure" is close but not quite the whole picture. Growing up in Michigan I used to play and am a big hockey fan but watching in DC and with my friends and occassionally my girlfriend, here is why I think Americans aren't into it:

1. People don't understand the game/rules, my friends ask me constantly what certain things mean. Probably comes from most people not playing growing up so they aren't attached.

2. Its hard to watch. Americans are all A.D.D., the non-stop action without a break to stop and chat with your friends is not condusive for the casual fan. The small puck also plays into it being hard to follow.

3. Its hard to follow your favorite superstar player during the game. Without clearly defined possessions, shifts where players come and go without a clear break (not to mention they are only on for a minute at a time) coupled with equipment that makes it hard to follow them while they are all playing makes it impersonal for most fans.

Ok that is all. Thanks.

-Joe in DC