Lamar Odom's Candy Obsession

Who here thinks Lamar Odom will be on the Shawn Kemp 400-pound express train when he retires from the NBA?

Either that, or he's going to need to quit eating candy cold turkey.

Quitting crack, might actually be easier.

I remember when this story first came out, and it was a triple-WHOA! Even for the world of the NBA, where nutty shit comes flying out of the news cycle on a regular basis.

Funny too, that an impulsive, compulsive sweet tooth like Lamar would marry Sasquatch Kardashian (her given name, don't look at me people) after dating her for just 4 months!

And how fat is SHE going to get when the two have had a few long off-seasons to cuddle up with a few 5 lb. bags of red vines and spice drops?

Now I am sure there's still probably 3% of you who are hearing about this story for the first time. For you people, let me just spare you the trip to Snopes.com.

This is real.

Now pass me the Now N' Laters.

Not To Be Paranoid, But....

A lot of weird crap going on in the world right now.

Sinkhole in Guatemala.
Volcano in Europe.
Ruptured oil well in the Gulf.
Al and Tipper Gore getting divorced.
Tampa Bay with the best record in baseball.
Lindsay Lohan actually passing her first two court mandated drug tests.

I often wonder: "What would it be like to live in world where all this shit happens, and Lady Gaga can write a song about her fucking cell phone not working and have it float to the top of the charts like one of my fetid mud logs?"

Not a world I wanna live in, folks!

Next Lady Gaga song to hit number one, and I'm jumping into that damn hole in Guatamala.

The Roaring Twenties

I was spending some time in the 5-Hour Energy Dome Sunday afternoon to avoid the early June thunder-swelter here in Virginny. Memorial was on. Cool.

And on the other two TV's?

Crap. The Stanley Cup and NBA Finals weren't on until later. So I fished around. Best I could do was Orioles and Red Sox on the right screen, and NBC's AMERICAN RUGBY on the other!

I kid you not. Rugby. American. College. I turned off both alternate TVs and went solo golf on the theater screen.

Hey NBC, once you are done with your Stanley Cup contract, just get out of sports altogether.

One of the reasons why I think Tiger only has a 2, maybe 3, more majors in him, is the horde of fearless young studs coming at him hard right now.

It's not so much that they are young and good. It's the golfing arrogance that is breathtaking. And in a good way. Tiger's length dominance is gone. Another reason why he's got an severely uphill climb to reach jack.

Here are the so-called “Roaring Twenties” winners on Tour this year, and their ages.

Rory McIlroy (20)
Jason Day (22)
Anthony Kim (24)
Dustin Johnson (25)
Hunter Mahan (28)
Camilo Villegas (28)
Bill Haas (28)
Derek Lamely (29)
Adam Scott (29)

More Memorial Notes...

Mark Calcavecchia, whoa! I know you are excited about getting to ride carts now that you are “retiring” to the Senior Tour. But to quote Tony Soprano: “Mix in a salad, you fat f***. And don't lean on my car, you might flip it over.”

Even though I enjoy doing my hi-pitched “Evil Nicklaus” voice whenever relevant, I still have a super-jumbo bucket of respect for the guy. I really enjoy hearing his thoughts during this week of his tournament, and his time in the booth with CBS is always a treat. Someday, Jack won't be with us. I want to listen to everything he has to say

Do they put the Konica Minolta BizHub swingvision sequences (with Peter Kostis narration and analysis) on the web anywhere? I don't mean random viewers throwing them up to YouTube. If not, then Konica and CBS are missing a good web opportunity. And oh yeah, I'd like to look them. All day. Like golf porn.

Speaking of that, did you see how flawless Justin Rose's move looks? His head is rock steady level. Compare that to Tiger's head, bobbing up and down through impact like he's at a state fair apple tub. Tiger's got major swing problems, and I don't think it's smart to be without a formal teacher right now. But then again, I have major swing problems, and six teachers, and that's not helping me much either.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The stat of Phil Jackson being 47-0 when winning game 1 of a playoffs series is a phenomenal stat. Might be the most under-rated winning trend in sports history. Unless they choke this one and lost to the Celtics.

Speaking of stats, Golfweek's Jeff Rude made a great case for Vijay Singh getting a special US Open exemption. So good, in fact, the USGA reversed course and gave him one. The stat? Before recent injuries, Vijay had racked up 11 consecutive years in the Top-5 of the money list. 11. In a row! Lombardi once said winning is the “only” thing. I disagree. Consistence excellence like what Vijay has done, always gets a tip of my cap, even if he didn't win as many as he should have.

Stephen Strasburg's debut on Tuesday night is going to be electric at Nationals Park. And against the sorry-ass Pirates, it might just be a no-hitter if they leave him in. Okay, I'm a little giddy on Strasburg fumes right now. Sorry. Just get a win, kid.

It wouldn't be the worst idea in the world going forward, to require every oil company doing deep sea drilling to prove they have a super-bad-ass submarine (not something dinky, I'm talking a big ol' BOAT!) that can get down to each wellhead and shut it off. The oil companies are gonna need to build this thing. And I don't care what it costs. We know they got the money.

How come nobody suggested putting Albert Haynesworth in a wetsuit and scuba tank and having him sit on the well until we figure it out? Not like he's doing anything right now.