Wednesday, January 2, 2013

"Go Ahead, I'll Be Right Behind You..."

Because real life is sometimes too cool to fathom, get this story about archeologists in China finding the tomb of an ancient emporer... that many think.. is STILL TOO DANGEROUS TO ENTER!

Yeah, like Indiana Jones, basically.

Although many historians don't think the Chinese "rolled" like that - Egyptians were the ones really keen on crafting giant stone balls to roll over you or crossbows to fire out from hidden passageways - not everybody is totally, 100% sure that it's okay to go in there.
But let's assume that the Chinese were more evil awesome than the Egyptians or Central American cultures, and that they really installed booby traps that triggered deadly crossbows in the emperor's tomb. Even if the old Chinese texts are correct, they might now still work after two thousand years. Perhaps the mechanisms are so rusty that the bolts won't fire. Maybe the wood and the cords used the in the traps have long since been destroyed by bacteria. 
Chinese historian Guo Zhikun argues the contrary. He is one of the main experts on Qinshihuang's burial site, and says that it's very possible that the traps are still active. He claims that the use of chrome in the figures may indicate that the traps received a similar protective treatment. He is sure that "the artisans who built the traps installed crossbows that will fire if any thief tries to get inside."
I say we make a TV show out of it. Get 12 dudes off death row. Strap 'em up with GoPro cameras. Then give 'em a torch. See what happens.

Snicky du Jour: Hannah Storm

I didn't think it was possible that America's favorite sports-mom, Hannah Storm could get any MORE bad-ass than she already is, but this just about seals it.

Storm nearly got her head blown off, in a freak predictable backyard grilling accident about three weeks ago cooking dinner at home. (She cooks, too!)

But instead of being a pampered TV primma-donna and staying away for months and months at a time until she had all the needed plastic surgery and what-not, she said "screw it, I'm working" and did the Rose Parade for the 5th straight year.

God bless you, Hannah. America almost lost a National Treasure. Get well quick.



Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013: Return of The Snickies!

Fellas, great news. I have completely re-dedicated myself to bringing you guys a snicky du jour. One per day. Every day. Three lovely hi-res photos.

Because I wouldn't want you to waste time searching for your own snickies. It's a vast web out there, and I'd hate for you to get fired!

So here's lovely Maria Kirilenko, tennis star, and soon-to-be Mrs. Alex Ovetchkin.