If Only This Crap Actually Worked...

A few years ago, Joe Gibbs 2.0 told me and Andy Pollin on the Sports Reporters that the “salary cap was the most over-rated thing in sports.”

We laughed at the notion - especially in the NFL - and for years now have used that as a poster-blurb indictment of how Dan Snyder goes about acquiring talent for his football team.

But I am now shocked to think, that Joe might have been right all along.

The conventional wisdom has been, that eventually, the Skins would be faced with an insurmountable dead-cap “bill” and be forced to reckon with it by purging vast amounts of players.

We never get that bill for some reason. The accounting trick has continued to escape me.

So maybe the cap IS over-rated, and maybe I should fully embrace this coup of landing the 100-Million Man Albert Haynesworth. After all, it’s not MY money, and if other teams were just a few million dollars behind us, then what’s to complain about? He didn’t cost any draft picks in exchange, and he’s in his prime.

If only it all worked.

If only….

This stuff doesn’t work, has never worked, and will almost certainly not “work” once again. Gibbs might have been right in that a rich owner like Snyder can buy buy buy without any real cap consequence, but at the same time it will not translate into sustained winning of any sort.

It won’t work most likely, because it’s methods are so amateurish in nature. To rush out and buy a player at retail price (+10% for no better reason than ego and impulsiveness) is a failed experiment for the Snyderskins with many case studies.

If this kind of thing “worked” then football would be nothing but an arms race, with the richest clubs quickly and easily outdistancing the rest. Hell, it’s not even working that well in baseball - an uncapped league - where one individual talent can lift a team to an additional 5-10 wins on his own!

To wit, the Yankees might still finish in 3rd place in their own division!

In baseball, the numbers nerds have come up with a statistical measure that I think makes a compelling argument about the true “worth” of talent. It’s called VORP: Value Over Replacement Player.

In short, it is a statistical attempt to assess just how MUCH better is Manny Ramirez as a hitter, than another average “dude” that could fill his spot in the lineup. Some players have a VORP that justifies their premium salaries. Others, do not.

Football doesn’t have a VORP, but if it did, I don’t think there’s ANY way that Haynesworth would be worth this much money. He could have a 4-sack day and Skins could still lose if Campbell throws three picks and DeAngelo Hall muffs a punt return for a score.

Similarly, Haynesworth might be out with an injury one week, and the Skins could still win because Portis has a 200 yard day rushing against a bad team like the Rams.

A game in which the Skins are well on their way to winning without any great contribution from Haynesworth, might then feature 3 sacks and a fumble recovery in the 4th quarter of a blowout. The talk on Monday will no doubt center on what a “great acquisition” this player was!

Why? Because the team won, AND the expensive player registered statistics that make fans and sportswriters drool.

Any lack of causal effect, however, will be glossed over or ignored. Football fans can be embarrassingly dense at times, as long as they got their “W” and some blood to go with it.

But I guess if money is no object, if the cap consequences can be constantly outflanked with good accounting, if 2010 is going to be an “un-capped” year in advance of a labor showdown in 2011, then what the hell, we’ll take him.

But it’s not going to work. And I’m resigned to that.

Go Skins!

Calling All Cowards

Our attorney general is calling us out.

Said newly minted Eric Holder recently….

“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial, we have always been, and we, I believe, continue to be, in too many ways, a nation of cowards,” Holder said in remarks to his staff in honor of Black History Month.

By “we” I’m not sure exactly who that includes.

Surely it can’t include Al Sharpton. He seems pretty comfortable talking about race, and profiting from it. Your average white dude? Well, he’s probably scared shitless. After all, he can only lose his job by saying one wrong word to one wrong person, in one wrong email.

I have presided over many a topic on sports radio that had either overt or subtle racial tones. The discussion is almost always unproductive. Even something that should be universally repulsive like say…. Oh… DOGFIGHTING…. Turns into a call-in racial proxy-war.

Seriously, you have to just remember the callers (usually black) who went through tortured justifications of Vick to realize that meaningful dialog was basically hopeless.

CALLER: “You have to understand the culture of …..”
ME: “No I don’t. That crap is just sick and barbaric.”

So much for courage.

I’ve had similar dead end “discussions” about Allen Iverson, the TV show “Playmakers”, tattoos, and plenty of other sports issues that grazed upon race.

It’s just not worth it.

And for gods sake, don’t ever try to say anything funny that’s race related. See the Don Imus fiasco. Did he deserve a suspension for the infamous “nappy headed ho’s” comment? Of course. Did he deserve to get fired? Of course not.

Especially given Imus’ track record for charity to cancer victims of all races through his ranch program, and his genuine contrition in the wake of the comments.

Even some well respected black leaders like Bill Cosby get smacked down when they say something that doesn’t fit the existing “victim template” of racial discussion.

Bryant Gumbel calls Gene Upshaw a “lapdog.” No consequence.

Michael Irvin speculates that Tony Romo’s must have some slave blood in him because he’s so athletic. No consequence.

Cowards? You bet, Mr. Attorney General. Now, maybe you should ask why.

The Great White Guppy Is Sensitive To Your Pain

I’ve always known that Greg Norman was a king douchebag.

It’s great to get continued confirmation.

Norman opened his golden cakehole and declared that “Prize money's being scaled back in Europe, I wouldn't be surprised if prize money's scaled back in the US just out of respect to every citizen and taxpayer over there who's suffering dramatically.”
"It seems like on the PGA Tour the players are still playing for a million dollars first week, like they're recession-proof."

Okay, where do we start?

First, golfers are not “recession proof.” The PGA Tour simply hasn’t been hit hard – yet – because of the foresight of the tour to get most events locked up in contracts that run through 2010 or longer. Trust me, their day is coming.

Secondly, the thought of giving money back “out of respect” is just nuts. Where would that money go? In whose pockets? And how would that “help” anybody who is “struggling.”

Plus, it’s pretty easy for a guy like him - $100 million in the bank, even post divorce – to suggest other people take less money.

Just like that the clown in Connecticut who grilled Jim Calhoun about whether his $1.6 million annual salary was “enough.” Now the governor is upset at Calhoun. She didn’t like his “tone” in that rant.

Well maybe she should worry about the $2 billion (that’s 2,000 million) hole in her state budget. Because it would take more than a thousand Jim Calhoun’s to plug that one.

Who else here is creeped out by the thought of some un-ethical, journalist wanna-be hippie deciding what is “enough” money for a highly successful basketball coach?

Remember the Marxist mantra: “From each according to ability, to each according to need.”

This is, still, America, right? Does he realize how many years Calhoun plugged along as a grossly underpaid assistant coach to get to this pinnacle in his career?

Never mind that Calhoun’s program runs a profit. Never mind that plenty of other university employees are paid six figure salaries without drawing a single penny of revenue. Never mind that giving Calhoun a haircut in salary might prompt him to retire, or quit and take a job at a private university, putting the UConn program on a money losing.

Nah. Never mind all that. Focus on “feelings” and being “sensitive.”