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This, is "Zornface."

The utterly fake, just here taking a paycheck, hmm-that-seems-interesting-but-I-don't-really-care, expression.

Jim's got it nailed.

One texter to my Fox Sports Radio show said simply: "Czabe, I did what you told me, and watched Zorn on the sidelines. My god. Walking around aimlessly, nothing to do, jotting down random notes. Like a dad at his son's game, looking for garbage to pick up."

Do I blame him? Nah. Go for it, Jimmy. You got the job by accident, there's no reason to drop the lottery ticket now. Make Vinny and Danny cash you out in full.

In the meantime, let's not get nuts and win too many more games, okay? There's currently 4 teams with 2 wins or less, and the Raiders and Chiefs are tied with us for 3 wins.

Winning just 4 games and yet still picking 7th would really suck. Just sayin.

As for the game on Sunday, well, what can you really take from it? Another road loss, now 9 in a row, tied for a franchise record. They have still yet to score 30 points in a game under Zorn. More injuries. More confusion about who really calls the plays.

Oh, the fun.

As I have said to other football friends: "If your football season is a train to nowhere, at least you want to be on the express."

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Announcer Notes

I don't write this to take a shot at anybody, but I cannot let it pass without comment. In general, the tandem of Kenny Albert and Moose Johnston (with Tony Siragusa holding up the goalpoasts chipping in...) is well regarded by many critics.

From my couch, eh. You can have 'em. Part of the problem, is that I actually LISTEN to what they say, and wonder: "Are they talking about the same team, I am watching?"

For example, at one point, Johnston points out that the Redskins have rolled out 6 different line combinations this year. True. Good stat. Shows the injury turmoil that has crippled this team.

But then, Moose unloads this whopper: He opines that maybe NOW, they have found the continuity they need up front, and that they were playing "well" so far in the game!

Are you kidding?

The o-line the Redskins rolled out there was nothing short of a nightmare. At one point it was....

LT - Levi Jones (cut by the Bengals last season)
LG - Derrick Dockery (overpaid, and cut last season from Buffalo)
C - Casey Rabach (declining free agent, prone to holding now)
RG - Edwin Williams (undrafted free agent C playing out of position)
RT - Stephen Heyer (undrafted free agent who is a finesse player)

No, noooooo! There is no "continuity" here. It's a disaster. And how can you say they are playing "well" when the line had committed FOUR false starts in the game to that point.

These are the kind of professional "observations" that make many fans crazy. I know that Moose Johnston doesn't live here in DC and he doesn't live in Philly. And as such, he can't be quite as tuned in to each team, every week, as perhaps us locals are.

However, given that its his only job to be prepared, and he has a full week to do, and he can read tons of stuff on-line, and he can call people "in the league" to find out more, then this stuff is simply inexcusable.

Plus, how can any reasoned analysis of a game where an o-line jumps 4 times, and nearly gets the QB killed, include a "good" assessment from professional "analysts."

Suuuurre. Uh.... huh. Yep. That's The Story. Yep.

The truth doesn't need a publicist.

And Tiger Woods doesn't fear the Windemere PD.

So this one, is going to the grave. Or, at the very least, marriage counseling.

Given that I was... ahem... incorrect... ahem.. in my skepticism of the Erin Andrews peephole story, I will perhaps not push "all in" on this one.

But I'm still calling bullshit. Just like everybody else.

Let's see. So what you are saying is....

Tiger Woods...
Supreme athlete...
Crashes his car...
At low speed...
Leaving his own driveway...
Hits both a fire hydrant...
AND a tree...
Not hard enough to deploy the airbags...
But hard enough to leave him bleeding and unconscious...
At 2:27 a.m....
By himself...
On Thanksgiving...
His lovely wife Elin, hears the crash...
Grabs a nearby 8-iron...
Heroically smashes out the rear window...
And pulls her hubby to safety...

Now. Go home people. Nothing to see here.

Suuuuuuuurrrrrrrre.

Tiger's stance is predictable. It's how he rolls.

“This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me,” Woods said. “I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

“Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible,” he said.

“The only person responsible for the accident is me,” Woods said. “My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.”

Translation: "Pursue this at your own peril, sports media."

The real question now, is this. How long can this story hold water, before leaking? I mean, of course, unless it's true. But assuming it is not....

Because the story in my head, like most people's head... goes like this.

Elin chases Tiger out of the house over infidelity rumors by the National Enquirer. Smashes out window in a rage. Tiger, shocked and distracted, rolls into fire hydrant and tree. Hell, it might have been her that bloodied his lip.

Soooo.....

Lest that bit of uglyness get out there, jeopardizing millions in endorsements, while generating months worth of distracting media coverage, and forever tarnishing the impossibly clean image of Eldrick The Magnificient, we'll just stonewall.

What? What are you, Windemere PD going to do about it? What? What are you, Tim Rostaforte going to do about it? What? What are you, ESPN going to do about it?

Well. Let's wait and see. In the meantime, Kobe, could you please give Tiger a call. He might find that conversation useful.

Abe Pollin: 1923-2009

As a lifelong Washington D.C. area sports fan, I can only say "thank you". And may you rest in peace.

Your impact on this market will last forever.

You purchased the Baltimore Bullets from your partners in 1964 for a then-record $1.1 million. You moved them here, because you wanted to win a championship.

You built a then-state-of-the-art stadium with mostly your own money in Landover, Maryland. The "Cap Centre" was the fond site of so many great sports memories in my youth and my teens.

You delivered an NBA Championship in 1978. You went to another NBA Finals the following year.

You took on an NHL franchise in 1974 with the expansion Capitals. They are now the most exciting, best team in town. They almost left after two years. You helped save them.

You pushed to build the MCI Center downtown. Now the Verizon Center, it is the crown jewel of a totally revitalized quadrant of the city.

You had your own skin the game, on countless occasions. And while you were sometimes ripped for being cheap, or hopelessly old school, you ponied up for players like Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison when letting them go would have been arguably justified.

You were too loyal to those around you for too many years. That's maybe the worst thing you can say about Abe. Too loyal. Wouldn't we all want that to be our biggest knock in life.

We made playful fun of you for photo ops like the infamous "Where's the cake" press conference. I have played the soundbite into the ground. We made the comparisons to you and Monty Burns.

I never felt these were mean spirited. You were ours. This is what friends do. Break balls every now and then.

You leave the basketball team to the best owner in town now, Ted Leonsis. This will be your last and perhaps best legacy.

Thanks Abe. Rest in peace.

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Matthew Stafford is a "mah-uhn!" God bless YouTube!



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The Redskins were "#1 in passing defense" going into the game against Dallas last week. I am sure you heard this a few times if you listened to Troy Aikman on Fox.

What Troy didn't tell you, that such a stat means jack squat.

For starters, when you rarely hold a second half lead, teams don't pass very much on you. Also, consider this.

Even though they were #1 in yards allowed.....

The Skins rushing defense ranked #24.
The Skins ranked tied for last in INTs.
The Skins defense has yet to score a TD this year.
The Skins pass defense has given up big plays all year.

And the opposing QB's have been dreadful. Only 2 of the 10 have been ranked in the Top 10 in passer rating.

L Eli Manning - 11th ranked QB
W Mark Bulger - 26th ranked QB
L Matt Stafford - 28th ranked QB
W Josh Johnson – (not ranked) QB rating of 50, would rank #32 with enough ATTs.
L Jake Delhomme - 29th ranked QB
L Matt Cassell - 22nd ranked QB
L Donovan McNabb - 8th ranked QB
L Matt Ryan - 20th ranked QB
W Orton/Simms – 14th ranked QB (Simms totally dysfunctional)
L Tony Romo – 12th ranked QB (Hurt in 1st quarter)

Look, there are "green shoots" with this defense. They are finally sacking the quarterback. Haynesworth, while absurdly expensive (and fat), makes them formidable up front. Fletcher continues to tackle with a vengeance. Orakpo is a certified beast.

But all in all, take that "#1 pass D" stat and shove it. If they hold Drew Brees and the Saints under 30 at home in two weeks, then I'll be impressed.