Looking Like Packer-Steeler Weather Here Already!

Greetings from Dallas!

The NFL, for reasons only known to them, are pushing this year's "location" as being "North Texas."

Whatever.

It all smells like Dallas to me.

Yes, the new JerrahWorld is indeed, in ARLINGTON, Texas, which is it's own distinct CITY, that has nothing to do with Dallas, other than the fact that it's only 20 minutes away.

And yes, Arlington residents ponied up something like $236 million to help Jerry build his palace. So I get why they are a touch sensitive.

Here are the associated slogans with all of the satellite cities here in the Dallas area.

Addison: "We're Glad Your Here!"
Arlington: "And The Crowd Goes Wild"
Dallas: "Live Large. Thing Big."
Denton: "Discover Denton."
Fort Worth: "City of Cowboys and Culture."
Frisco: "Texas's Rising Star."
Lewisville: "Deep Roots, Broad Wings, Bright Future."

And then these places had no slogan, or at least not any that were part of their official "logo."

Plano, Richardson, Grapevine, Irving, and Farmers Branch CVB.

This is like last year's Super Bowl, which was called "South Florida" and NOT Miami. Geographically, this was accurate, but pointless. Who cares if the Media Center is in Ft. Lauderdale, and Joe Robbie Stadium is in suburban Miami Gardens, and all the great parties with the smokin' hot 20-something's are in South Beach?

Just call it, Miami.

Next year, the Super Bowl lands in Indianapolis. Not because it would be a good place to be for a week in February, if you are covering the event. It's there only because the NFL has been rewarding anybody with a new stadium, with a Super Bowl at some point in the near future.

When the built Lucas Oil Stadium, you just knew a Super Bowl was coming.

Ditto the new Meadowlands.

Of course, every year here in the media room, the next year's city sets up a "visitor's booth" just in case you need to secure a dinner reservation 371 days in advance.

Indy now has a booth set up, where there slogan for next year's game is this: "Get Your Winter On. It's Cool."

Okay, so they are no trying to hide the obvious. Take a perceived weakness, and turn it into a strength.

But seriously. "Get Your Winter On?"

With due respect, Indianapolis, most of us have been wearing our winter for some time now, and we're fucking sick of it.

The Super Bowl should be played in the following cities, on a rotating basis. Period. Ready?

San Diego, Tampa, Miami, New Orleans, and Arizona.

Then just rotate.

These cities provide either an excellent chance of good weather, and sufficient things to do for media and fans who decide to spend some vacation time in advance, leading up to the game.

The league won't do this, however, because they like the ongoing bribery of cities throwing themselves at the league's feet to host such a game.

This week, and this city, could be very good, however. JerrahWorld was simply BUILT to hold this game, and the Dallas/Fort Worth area (yes, "north Texas", groan) has plenty of things to do for a week.

The weather, however, is not cooperating.

Next three days: HIGH temps of 31, 24, and 28 degrees.

Oh, joy.

And, did I mention that there is a cabbie strike going on right now? Apparently, Dallas decided to let electric/hybrid cabs cut to the front of the line at the airport. Great.

Should be a fun week. We'll keep you posted.

It Won't Be A Super Bowl Without Cage Dancers!

Even though "JerryWorld" is less than 2 years old, it has undergone a significant makeover in advance of the Super Bowl.

They have added seats all through the open "standing room only" areas in the stadium, created and sold tickets for an outdoor viewing pavillion (soldout the 5,000 lawn tickets at $200 a pop!) put more lights and spotlights on the overhanging "JerryTron", and of course replaced the Dallas Cowboys star with the NFL Shield.

Still, I wonder: what about the vaunted Cowboy cage dancers? Please God... er... I mean, Jerrah!, don't let the NFL strong arm you into taking down this most awesome piece of American and Texas Redneckicana!

The $1 Man

This guy Goodell is un-fucking-believable kids, isn't he?

Just when you thought the barrell-chested, skull-inflated, red-headed spokesdummy for the NFL couldn't get or sound any stupider, he does.

In an effort to show the entire football world what a swell guy he is, Goodell said on Wednesday that he would voluntarily reduce his "salary" to $1 if there is any stoppage in games due to the lockout.

Well, la-dee-frickin'-da, as the late Chris Farley might say.

That's some real hardship, there, Roger. You gonna take a job at Kinko's to make ends meet?

Seriously, though, where does this guy get his public relations instincts? Lindsay Lohan's mother? If I was him, the last thing in the world I would do - short of locking my office door from the outside while fining James Harrison and dropping a few n-bombs - is alert anybody who doesn't already know it, THAT I MAKE $10 FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR!

And I am sure that is without a bunch of "bonuses" for "performance" that are about as certain to happen with this money making machine called the NFL as the sun coming up on a cow's ass in the barnyard.

"Congrats, Roger! The Super Bowl was a sellout. Again! You are a fucking genius! Here, have another million dollars!"

Do most people know that this guy is a complete NOBODY?! Do they know?

Do people know that if the owners woke up one day and said: "You know what, I bet a monkey could run this league" old Roger would be seriously shit-out-of-luck finding anything more than a managers job at Appleby's.

Here's Goodell's extensive "business" resume, courtesy of the Wiki.

From intern to COO

Goodell's career in the NFL began in 1982 as an administrative intern in the league office in New York under then-Commissioner Pete Rozelle – a position secured through an extensive letter-writing campaign to the league office and each of its then 28 teams. In 1983, he joined the New York Jets as an intern, but returned to the league office in 1984 as an assistant in the public relations department.

In 1987, Goodell was appointed assistant to the president of the American Football Conference (Lamar Hunt), and under the tutelage of Commissioner Paul Tagliabue filled a variety of football and business operations roles, culminating with his appointment as the NFL's Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer in December 2001.

That's it, kids. You too can go from intern to COO, just write some letters to a big billion dollar conglomerate, be open to absorbing some "tutelage" and be ready to perform "a variety of roles."

If Goodell gets shitcanned tomorrow, I can assure you the collective boards of the Fortune 500 aren't going to be tripping on their dicks to get the phone to call this guy.

He's done nothing. He knows nothing. And he makes $10 million a year.

If you want to know why players hate this guy's guts, just look up how many players in this league make more than $10 million a year.

In 2009-10, a total of two running backs made more than 10 mil. (MJD and Brandon Jacobs, oddly enough).

Running backs!

You know, the psychopaths who endure the equivalent of 20 or more violent car crashes every week until their knees give out in a quivering pile of twisted tendons and cartilage.

Goodell makes more than almost all of them, just sitting on his ass in New York firing off memos about how much the league cares about player safety.

Fuck him.

You tell me the league can't get a really great CEO from another company, with a real resume, who would gladly take this CEO job for just $1 million per year, if for nothing else the tits-sweet sideline access 24/7?

Of course you could!

You could have a parade of successful CEO's who just want to ease into retirement with a little 4 year term standing at the wheelhouse of this league that CANNOT BE FUCKING SUNK, waving at the pretty girls in bikinis floating by.

And I bet you, those CEO's would tell these dipshit owners - especially the old farts who won their team in a factory game of poker sometime around WWII and are now sitting on literally, Fort Fucking Knox! - "Hey fellas. You're printing money. Don't make any sharp moves here, and let's just figure out how we can charge an extra $50 a year on Sunday Ticket and call it a day!"

But no. The owners have their monkey, and they are telling him to dance!

God, now I am almost wishing for this all to go horribly, horribly wrong for the owners. I'd even take a whole year off, with no Super Bowl, to watch Goodell's idiocy end up burning down a huge chunk of the owner's financial house.

"Ooops. Didn't think the players could stick together like that. Sorry. We'll get 'em next year!"

Of course, I'm dreaming here. Antonio Cromartie reminded me that even if the NFLPA has a full 85% of its members stocked up on bottled water and driving reasonable family vehicles for a long labor showdown, all it takes is the Albert Haynesworth led 15% to fuck it all up for everybody.

A $1 salary, eh boss? I think you finally found your true market value.