LPGA Tour Posts Job Opening

This just in...

BETHLEHEM, Pa. – The LPGA’s Board of Directors is actively seeking an interim commissioner from outside the organization to run its tour while the board launches a more thorough search for a successor to Carolyn Bivens, a tour player director said Sunday at the U.S. Women’s Open.

Alrightey-then!

Sign-me-up!

As one of just a handful of barely measurable men (or women) who now watch the LPGA Tour on a regular basis during the season, I think I have some ideas on how to keep the tour relevant.

And by "relevant" I mean... alive.

Ahem.

Look, getting back the SEVEN events that Bivens managed to burn to the ground with her heavy-handed-who-do-you-think-you-are approach, is going to take YEARS. But let's start with what we can start with.

1. All HD, all the time. Nothing is death quite like SD sports these days, so whatever costs incurred here, just write the check.

2. Ban long pants when the weather is 65 degrees and above. Oh, is that sexist? Sorry. It's not. It's just a dress code. The men don't get to wear shorts (or tank tops like the ladies) for a simple reason. It would look like crap. The PGA Tour believes in presenting a "professional" look. The LPGA needs the same. Androgynous short-haired women wearing parachute pant trousers in July in baseball caps ain't gonna cut it.

3. Limit the # of Players from a single country. Yeah, this IS targeted at South Korea, which now provides some 40% of the LPGA. Let's use that current 40% going forward. And if Sweden gets super-good, then they too would hit the wall at 40%, as would American players. You wanna call this racist? Go tell that to the Japanese baseball leagues and the Canadian Football leagues which limit foreign players.

4. Push the American stars like Paula Creamer (above) like crazy. Make no apologies. Get them on Dancing With the Stars, exhibition matches, and whatever else gets the names and faces into the pop culture bloodstream.

5. Know your place. At the end of whatever you do, you gotta remember you are a nice little "niche" league. Embrace the "mom and pop" aspects of the Tour and don't ever think you will approach PGA Tour rights fees, attendance, or prize money.

There. Now where do I send my resume?