Jordan Ready To Put Another $300 Million Into Play

So reports are, fading basketball icon and part-time NBA owner Michael Jordan is ready to propose to his longtime recent girlfriend Yvette Prieto.

She's young, she's pretty, and I am sure she's not into Mike because of the money.

Nah. She just likes being with a guy who smokes cigars, gambles recklessly, and plays approximately 693 rounds of golf per year.

He also sleeps with other women.

But hey, if it's "true love" then who can stop it? Not Scottie Pippen, his double-date buddy! Not Charles Barkley! Not even MJ's attorneys, who no doubt are saying: "Dude. The last one cost you $300 million! I would just rent these companions from here on out."