I Will Strangle You Personally if You Drop MY Trophy!

I just love the story of the Alabama fan (klutz) who accidentally kicked over the Tide's national championship trophy (crystal egg) by accident. Thing was secured by tape. Yeah, tape.

Charley Green, trophy manager for the American Football Coaches Association, said he uses adhesive tape to secure the ball when it's toured around the country and advises universities to take the same precautions when displaying it.

So the Stanley Cup is a massive silver chalice that could crush a small child - AND THAT THING GETS TOTED AROUND IN A METAL-BAND-CALIBER INDUSTRIAL CASE!

But this fluffy little glass egg? Eh. Duct tape it. Perfect.

Anyhow, speaking of trophies, I want you to check out the best trophy ever made. Ever. Yes, even better than Lord Stanley. Even better than the gleaming and and elegantly simple Lombardi trophy.

Even better than this pretty funny "Couch Guy" fantasy football trophy.

I am talking about the Malcolm McLeod Memorial Trophy.

Mike McGowan poses with the Malcolm at The National GC, showing off the winning yellow ball in the $500 putt-off to conclude the 2010 event.

Who was Malcolm? You'll have to read the "Legend" section of the website.

While you are there, please take note of the "Players" page. We have a "flight detail" of 16 total players to travel to Pinehurst in a month. Because of a rampant case of acute vaginitis with some of the gentlemen normally on the trip, we have TWO OPENINGS for you to try to lobby your way into Czabe's Carolina fandango again this year.

Last year, one Mitch Taylor from Norfolk was chosen to round out our group. Mitch was such a great guy, we didn't even THINK about inviting him back for a second year. Why? Because many of my guys on this trip are assholes.

But good kind of assholes, or at least ones I can tolerate for a few days. And I know their bullshit, so I know how to parry-and-thrust when they get out of line.

Mitch was such a gentleman, so unassuming and willing to help out in any way, well, I just felt like inviting him back would be punishment. Plus, I figure, let's spread the misery to some other guys dumb enough, er, willing to jump in with a totally random group of golfers.

So if you are game, email me your 200 words or less free-form "application" to join us. I will take entries through COB on Friday, and then promise not to leave applicants hanging past Monday on the two "winners."

And one more thing: I made that trophy. So if you want to rip on it, do so at your own peril! /crosses applicant off the list.