Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Isaiah and Florida International: A Match Made in Hell



Isaiah Thomas is back in business.

Florida International has deemed him the “best man for the job” for their basketball program.

Which would be sort of like making Kelvin Sampson your NCAA compliance officer.

If you don’t know Florida International, it’s a school best known for a bench clearing melee against Miami in football a few years ago.

Here, enjoy the YouTube if you somehow missed this epic bit of joint thuggery…..



I also submit for your enjoyment, the courageous involvement of one A’Mod Ned of FIU. Although he was clearly injured and not available to play that night, he WAS available to crack some skulls! Probably with his crutches!



It’s the sort of bravery that makes, a legend grow over time, you know.



Not unlike the legend of Zeke The Franchise Destroyer!

So let’s review.

Isaiah Thomas was a fantastic college and NBA player. National Championship under Knight at Indiana. Two NBA rings. One of the 50 Greatest players of all time.

Then he retired and all hell broke loose. In fact, pretty much everywhere Zeke went, the building caught on fire, and he managed to run out the back door before the engines arrived to douse the rubble.

He started in Toronto as a part-owner and EVP of the expansion team. That lasted 4 years, when he was forced out. Believe who you want on that one. Not like the Raptors are the Patriots of the NBA, but then again, Isaiah was involved.

Then he took the CBA down in stunning fashion. He bought it for $5 million, then refused an offer for $11 million from the NBA to make it the “official” minor league of the NBA. Well done. Conspiracy theorists say Isaiah was merely a tool of David Stern to clear the decks for the NBA’s own D-League.

Neither plain incompetence or Stern’s long evil hand on that would surprise me. I call it a push.

He did alright with the Pacers as coach, but took the team nowhere far in the post-season. The Pacers glory years came later under Rick Carlisle.

Then, there was the Knicks.

Good …. Gawd!

The bad moves came in flurries. Fired coaches, bloated contracts, malcontent players. Overpay Larry Brown. Clash with Larry Brown. Fire Larry Brown. Dispute his payout. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Then Isaiah said “move over, let me try coaching.”

That didn’t work out so well either.

Meanwhile, he was sexually harassing employees, and turning a blind eye to other player shenanigans with the Knicks City Dancers. He also reportedly said he “didn’t care about those fucking white people.”

He meant, season ticket holders. Nice.

Instead of settling the embarrassing lawsuit out of court, Isaiah fought it defiantly in court.

And got his ass handed to him.

Finally, when it was all said and done, Isiaha had one last dirt bag moment when he overdosed on something, passed out at home, then lied to the press about what had gone down, concocted a story, and tried to throw the police under the bus.

And I didn’t even bring up the brief stint as NBA analyst on NBC. Wasn’t very good at that either. But I didn’t want to pile on.

Good luck, FIU! You might want to dial 9-1- and just have your finger over the last “1” on the phone.

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