King Douchebag

Ha. Fooled, ya. Didn't he?

Well, not me. Or a handful of others in the national sports media.

But he still got about 90% of the suckas out there. In fact, I don't recall a SINGLE “expert” employed by ESPN saying a month ago “hang on, folks. This ain't over, until it's over.”

But I did. In fact, I called it almost exactly. I said: “It's not that he doesn't want to play for the Vikings, it's that he doesn't want to have to go to training camp.”

Quote... un-quote.

Well then, look at the timing.

So now Favre enters a whole new orbit of self-absorbed douchebaggery, one in which he will almost certainly retire the trophy forever.

Let me now unload a shag bag of random thoughts about all of this, and let you good folks pick from what you like....

Thought #1: How orchestrated was all of this?

It's possible, that this entire scenario was cooked up from the very first conversation. Get the existing roster used to the possibility of Favre well in advance. Make it seem like it's a really tough decision. Delay, delay, and delay. Ensure he somehow misses camp. Then..... to quote John Madden.. BOOM! There he is!

Thought #2: Good thing the NFL isn't run like most fantasy leagues.

Because if it was, there would be fucking upheaval right now. Let's review: Team A who hold the rights to Player X, refuses to re-install Player X as starting quarterback after he “retires.” Team A also refuses to release Player X outright. (Hey, rights are rights. You'd be nuts to just give them away for nothing). Team A then negotiates trade of Player X to Team B, with strict stipulations. If Team B then turns around and trades Player X to Team C (in Division) then Team B owes Team A THREE #1 draft picks.

So after one year of lukewarm enthusiasm with Team B, Player X decides to “retire” again.

INEXPLICABLY, TEAM B THEN GRANTS PLAYER X HIS OUTRIGHT RELEASE!!!!

Uh, hello. Where the FUCK is the commissioner of this league!? If Roger Goodell ran my fantasy league, he'd have to get an unlisted number at this point.

Do the rules of the league, and player rights by teams mean ANYTHING anymore? Or do certain “superstars” merit transparent end-runs around such rules?

It's clear now that Team B (Jets) knew that it couldn't do anything with Player X because he would only play in the one place that would cost them 3 draft picks, so they just washed their hands.

Roger Goodell. You sir, suck.

Thought #3: When are Sage and Tavaris going to grow a pair?

I'm disappointed that in this day and age of hyper-political correctness in sports, neither one of these guys just flat out said: “This is a joke. The guy is entitled to come here and compete for a job, but at least show up for camp and sweat like the rest of us. Besides, the guy has a torn shoulder that's been stitched back together, and he's faded in the second half of every season the last 5 years. The guy's a legend, but he's had his time. This is a farce. But, whatever. Rah, rah, team.”

So what's the worst that could happen? They release you? Sage has guaranteed money, and you know he's bound for at least another 2 NFL teams before he's finally done holding a clipboard. And Jackson's gonna be cut anyway.

So come out and blast this clown, and earn some street cred with those of us out here who are just begging for somebody in sports to drop the politically correct crap out of fear of being ripped yourself.

Thought #4: Is Peter King capable of being embarrassed?

Think of it this way: nobody throated Favre more than King in the print media the last 10 years. Nobody pretended he was on a buddy-buddy level with Favre more than King. Nobody casually mentioned cell phone calls, or text messages with the guy more than Mr. Coffeenerdness.

And yet.... NOBODY has MISSED this story more badly than King.

Nobody.

It's like he keeps getting scooped, and scooped, and scooped, and scooped. And I wonder: does he know how stupid he looks? Does he care?

Thought #5: Does Favre have an image consultant?

The ultra-dirty hat. The perma-gray-stubble beard. It's such a “good look” for a “legendary” QB who is trying to “turn back the hands of father time” for one more run, isn't it?

Too good of a look?

Did Favre even once think: “You know, I'm reporting to Vikings camp today. Better shower and shave, and at the very least, throw on a decent ballcap.”

Or was it the opposite. “Deanna, get me that grimy cap from the basement! Yeah, that's the one! And here, is my stubble nice and gray? Good....”

Let's roll.....

So off we go. And sadly, some people whom I am losing respect for by the minute are now proclaiming the Vikings as “the team to beat in the NFC.”

AHEM..... cough... COUGH!.... Ron Jaworski... COUGH....

Rooting against them, and him, will be a sweet pleasure this year.

Game on.