The truth doesn't need a publicist.
And Tiger Woods doesn't fear the Windemere PD.
So this one, is going to the grave. Or, at the very least, marriage counseling.
Given that I was... ahem... incorrect... ahem.. in my skepticism of the Erin Andrews peephole story, I will perhaps not push "all in" on this one.
But I'm still calling bullshit. Just like everybody else.
Let's see. So what you are saying is....
Tiger Woods...
Supreme athlete...
Crashes his car...
At low speed...
Leaving his own driveway...
Hits both a fire hydrant...
AND a tree...
Not hard enough to deploy the airbags...
But hard enough to leave him bleeding and unconscious...
At 2:27 a.m....
By himself...
On Thanksgiving...
His lovely wife Elin, hears the crash...
Grabs a nearby 8-iron...
Heroically smashes out the rear window...
And pulls her hubby to safety...
Now. Go home people. Nothing to see here.
Suuuuuuuurrrrrrrre.
Tiger's stance is predictable. It's how he rolls.
“This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me,” Woods said. “I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible,” he said.
“The only person responsible for the accident is me,” Woods said. “My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.”
Translation: "Pursue this at your own peril, sports media."
The real question now, is this. How long can this story hold water, before leaking? I mean, of course, unless it's true. But assuming it is not....
Because the story in my head, like most people's head... goes like this.
Elin chases Tiger out of the house over infidelity rumors by the National Enquirer. Smashes out window in a rage. Tiger, shocked and distracted, rolls into fire hydrant and tree. Hell, it might have been her that bloodied his lip.
Soooo.....
Lest that bit of uglyness get out there, jeopardizing millions in endorsements, while generating months worth of distracting media coverage, and forever tarnishing the impossibly clean image of Eldrick The Magnificient, we'll just stonewall.
What? What are you, Windemere PD going to do about it? What? What are you, Tim Rostaforte going to do about it? What? What are you, ESPN going to do about it?
Well. Let's wait and see. In the meantime, Kobe, could you please give Tiger a call. He might find that conversation useful.
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