Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Monday Night Eyesore


Sorry America.

You should not have been forced to watch that.

It didn't help that the Eagles played like shit most of the night too.

But until the NFL starts letting both Sunday night and Monday night football “flex out” of games, these things are going to happen.

Bad news, good news though.

Bad: Skins vs. Giants on Monday Night Football AGAIN from FedEx on December 21.

Good: Skins vs. Cowboys on Sunday Night Football AGAIN from FedEx on December 27th.

THANK GOD FOR FLEX SCHEDULING! You can kiss that game's ass goodbye on NBC's list!

I watched the game at Andy Pollin's crib, so I could then zip 5 minutes back to the radio station at midnight, get 5 crappy hours on the oversized chair/ottoman in my office, and feel semi-human for my morning show. As such, we had fun doing the radio show we could never do on the air, sitting on his living room couch.

Andy was telling me during the game: “to be fair, the play calling HAS been better.” I said: “Compared to WHAT? We don't even know the plays!” He then said the offense “looked better.” I said “what about all the sacks?” That's part of the offense, too. What about the lack of a running game? Uh huh. Abysmal line play, is also part of “the offense.”

Which brings me to my gripe about the ESPN announcers playing excuse maker for the Skins “D.” I believe at one point, somebody said: “Aside from the big plays, the defense has been solid.” And as the old saying goes: “So Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that, how was the play?” I'm sorry to be a prick here, but I could consider a 69 yard end around for a touchdown in the 1st quarter when the D is most “fresh”..... BA D DEFENSE! I would also consider a 3rd and 24, pump and go TD on Carlos “Stone Hands” Rodgers, really fucking BAD DEFENSE!

Like hotel room service, EVERY play your defense gives up, ENDS UP ON YOUR BILL at the end of the night. Period.

Devin Thomas wore just one eye patch. This is what I call “Gangsta Gay.” You are sooo cool dude.

Ditto Chris Cooley and his dyed hair. Yeah, Monday Night football! Let's all desperately grab for attention!

I've had enough of Gruden. At one point, he said DeAngelo Hall had really “stepped up his game” to be a much better “all around” football player. Yep. Sure has. Another time, Gruden gushed about how Haynesworth was playing hard deep into the 2nd half, with the team down by 17 points. Made it sound loosely heroic. Gruden failed to mention that for Al's outrageous contract, that should be the norm. He also failed to mention Al missed much of the 3rd quarter with another ouchie to his leg.

You would think – THINK – that after Randle El took one of the facemask Deion-Style, that it would FINALLY end the long, pointless run of #82 returning punts. It did. For a few punts. Then he was back. This defies explanation. I officially give up. Just let him return everything. What do I care?

Can somebody please call Joe Gibbs. Ask him: “Um, what do we do now with the QB you got for us on an impulse purchase when you were supposed to just look at Carlos Rodgers? Because we're pretty much at the end of the road here with the guy. He's a backup.”

But hey, it was worth a 1st rounder, a 3rd and a 5th for him. Especially when he sat for a year and a half behind your limp-noodled, church-pew buddy Mark Brunell.

I can't wait to hear Vinny Cerrato claim that with a 17 point outburst (ignore that garbage TD, folks) his decision to go with Sherm Lewis has been vindicated. Watch for it. It is coming.

Did Jim Zorn look like a lost, wet dog on the sideline, or what? He was bearing down on that playsheet, making notes. Not that the Sherms will actually listen to what those notes are during the bye week. “Look here, flat-top. We're in charge now!”

At one point, Ron Jawarski said he was surprised at how watching Saturday practice the Skins showed little energy, or “sense of urgency.” Jaws sounded surprised. This is the first time I ever thought to myself: “Jaws... is an IDIOT!” I mean, I love the guy, and he really knows quarterbacking and X's and O's... but honestly. This was a surprise? On what level, exactly?

Zorn has 9 more games to “fake coach” on the sideline, and tiptoe around saying something that will void his contract during the week. Gonna be a long finish, folks.

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