Monday, December 21, 2009


… then it is a touchdown, that shall beat you.

This NFL truth should be carved in stone, and installed at the entrance to every stadium around the league. The worst possible spot for a team to find itself in, is to be ahead by 4-6 points with about 2 minutes left in the game.

I don’t mean to take away from some of the brilliant plays and throws that Big Ben made in that final drive on Sunday. The throw and catch to Heath Miller was brilliant. Shucking off bull charging Cullen Jenkins was impressive.

And of course, the tip-toe dagger to Mike Wallace was vintage Ben.

That said, when teams rush just 3 lineman, bad things happen. I’ve seen it too many times.

On the final play, you may notice #20 Atari Bigby covering… well.. covering some empty endzone. Not much help there, was he? This happens all the time on plays that end up with a team losing while playing some version of a “prevent” defense.

I saw that happen when Favre beat the 49ers early in the season. I saw it when Vince Young engineered his final 99 yard drive against Arizona. I see it all the time.

Guys covering nothing.

Prevent.

But hey, at least you didn’t “blitz” (i.e. rush 5 guys, gasp!) and get beat in “single coverage” (double-gasp!)

I hate to be a jerk here, Packer fans, but this is how 4th and 26’s are also converted.

That said, you just gotta shake it off, and take care of business this week at home against Seattle. If you can’t beat them now, at your place, you don’t deserve to be in the playoffs anyway.

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I’m not sure if the following makes playing fantasy football great, or stupid.

Consider if you were in the semi-finals of your league yesterday, and some doink with a marginal team was starting Joshua Cribbs and/or Jerome Harrison. Better yet, let’s say you had Adrian Peterson and Brett Favre.

Loser!

Now perhaps it’s a stretch to think that anybody in their fantasy playoffs had either Cribbs or Harrison active, but you never know. In leagues with a flex spot, it’s not unthinkable. And what about leagues that allow transactions this week before a championship game? Don’t you think Jerome Harrison is going to be a hot property heading into his game against Oakland.

So again, help me out. Proof that fantasy football is pointless and stupid? Or, it that the “beauty” of the game. You just never know…

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Tony Dungy, who seems like a fine man, and pleasant fellow, is awful as a studio head for NBC’s “Football Night in America.” I said this after Week 2, when his deer-in-headlights, soft spoken, timid analysis was doing nothing for me as a fan.

(Rodney Harrison, by comparison, has been a flat out stud on TV. While he was a dirty hitting, roid eating cheater as a player, I do love him as a guy on TV who will just “say it!”)

So apparently Dungy is now trying to swing for the fences on opinions, or he’s being “coached up” to get a little more “out there.” He said the Dallas Cowboys had “no chance” against the Saints on Sunday night.

Final Score: Cowboys 24, New Orleans 17.

Oops.

Tony Romo even referenced that prediction as motivation after the game.

Now look, I have made the “no chance” prediction a million times and been wrong at least 500,000 of them. That said, I am not a former head coach in the NFL. I am a guy on the couch. Also, anybody who has been watching the Saints the last 3 weeks knows, they aren’t playing very tidy football.

So I think it’s time to wind down the Dungy experiment, and just go with Rodney.

Besides, aren’t there more NFL players “in crisis” that Dungy can mentor?

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By all accounts on NFL-associated broadcasts, Chris Henry was a reformed angel on the path of righteousness. I’m still waiting to hear about what actually happened in the back of that pick-up truck. Crazy, because it sounds to me like he might have been attacking his fiancé, and she was fleeing for her life in terror.

God bless Gus Johnson of CBS, whose emotion, volume, and hyperbole dials all “go to eleven” so to speak. When the Raiders stunned the Broncos with a late touchdown, Johnson belted out “Jamarcus Russell, off the bench, like Johnny U!” I am fairly certain that this will be the first, and last time, Shamu is ever referenced to the greatest QB who ever played the game.

Meanwhile, Dick Stockton needs to be retired from the NFL. Immediately. He bumbled through the Falcons late TD to beat the Jets by saying inexplicably that they were an extra point away from tying the game. Actually, um, no. The Falcons were up 9-7, the extra point made it 10-7. When play by play men can’t get scores correct, it’s time to go.

You know that woman who uses the dude’s Capital One bonus points to buy herself a dress without telling him? What a bitch. But then again, she’s smokin’ hot. I think she’s a slightly younger (34?) knockoff of Cindy Crawford. With maybe a little Hoda Kotb from the The Today Show thrown in. She can use my points anytime.

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Stat of the Day

At the start of the year in 1999, there existed 22 bowl games, with 6 on New Year’s Day, one the following day, and the “Championship” game played on January 4th.
Now, there are 34 bowl games, with 14 played on January 1st or later, and the “Championship” game is January 7th.

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