Now This Is An "Awful" Putting Green!

Call me a hater if you want, but watching Tiger Woods "peacock it" up the 18th on Saturday was enough to make me vomit in my mouth.

The multiple cap-doffing, overt-fist pumping, Stevie-humping charade was the classic move of a front-runner.

Nobody likes a front-runner.

And when I saw his post-round press conference going on, and on, and on, and with all his big smiles, and laughs... well, I could only think: "Hmmm. Wasn't so jolly on Thursday, now, was he?"

Thankfully, David Fay of the USGA is having none of it. None.

"I think two players used the word awful on Thursday," Fay said. "Phil said he putted awful. Tiger said the greens were awful."

"As far as the greens are concerned, he's wrong," Fay said. "That old statement that you're entitled to your opinion? He is entitled to his opinion, but he's off on his facts. These putting surfaces have never been better."

Fay said as much on the NBC broadcast too, which earns him high marks by me for not doling out little nuggets to the print media, and then getting all weak-kneed on television.

I repeat the question I asked golf fans who claim to be Tiger fans after his petulantly awful post-Masters "chat" with Peter Kostis.

Question: "Who would root for someone like that?"

The greens weren't a problem on Tuesday or Wednesday before the event. They weren't a problem after his blistering 66 on Saturday. They weren't a problem back in 2000, when Tiger never three-putted once all week.

Poa annua greens aren't a problem for Tiger Woods, who grew up in California, and played on the stuff since he was knee-high to Mike Douglass.

No, they are only a problem when Tiger doesn't want to look in the mirror. And since Hank Haney is out of the picture, I guess any old weed will do fine as a scapegoat.

If Tiger can act this way as a mere golfer when it comes to stupid native grasses that dare to cause his little golf ball to deviate only so slightly from his wishes, can you IMAGINE what Tiger the person must be like to deal with?

Frankly, it's a miracle Elin stayed married to the guy as long as she did. And if Tiger really was a prince around the house who just happened to have a sex addiction, then you know she'd be there for him today, in case he actually wins.

She's not, and that tells you all you need to know.

So go ahead, and root for the golfer you once sat slack jawed in awe of. I don't care. I'll enjoy seeing him lose. The more T2's, the better. Mo' money for Elin's Swedish island, and no mo' majors for Eldrick the petulant.

I could at least stomach the guy if he had some professional balance as a player. The banana-ball three-wood on 18 and it's resulting conga-line-dance with Stevie would be okay by me, had he just shown some grace and humility when things weren't going so peachy.

Still not a shot in his bag. And I don't think it ever will be.